HSN Episode #40: A True Shadow Journey: Healing the Body AND the Emotions with Natalie Gentry
Michelle Fox : [00:00] Welcome to nourish. I am Michelle Fox, culinary nutritionist health coach and your host for this podcast. I teach busy professionals how to get more nutrition in their bodies and how to have more fun in their home kitchens. If you struggle with consistency or sometimes forget to make your needs a priority, you, my friend, are in the right place. Join me each week for inspiration to increase your energy, strengthen your mindset, manage your hormonal woes, and so much more. You have a lot on your plate, but that does not mean your nutrition should suffer. You deserve to live in a body and have a life that you love. [00:49] So let's dig in. So this time of year, a lot.
[01:01] Of us are going through transition. Whether it's transition of the seasons, whether it's transition in our bodies, whether it's transition with our families, our friendships, the list goes on. And oftentimes with transition, there can come this heaviness or this darkness. And it's easy to kind of lean into, oh, well, I should be eating right, or I should be getting my sleep, or I should like lots of the shoulds are floating around. And the beautiful news is my guest today, Natalie Gentry. She is here to help us walk through a lot of that. And for any of you who already know she is a real friend in real life, like we go way back, actually, let's just say, definitely going touch on that as well, because I think our history is not only beautiful, but I think it informs this conversation as well, the conversation around transition.
Earlier, [02:01] I used the word darkness, and Natalie actually brought the light to that, which, as she is prone to do, bringing light to a lot of some of the life situations. So we will jump into that. But before we go all in on our subject today, which is a true shadow journey, healing the body and the emotions, we are so in the right place. I'm actually going to read that one more time. A true shadow journey, healing the body and the emotions. I just want to read her bio so you get a little bit more color about this beautiful light being that we are about to chat with. So Natalie Gentry is a Denver based, body centered practitioner, facilitator, and creator of a body centered shadow coaching program called Return to Self. Natalie has combined her certifications in shadow coaching, our vigo abdominal massage, which PS.
That's how Natalie and I originally met over 20 years ago. [03:03] Therapeutic massage, transformational, breath work, and conscious movement to help clients connect with and embody all of who they are so that they can live more authentically and with greater intention and joy. Natalie goes on to say that she believes that your body shares physical and emotional wisdom. Natalie also thinks that your body houses your shadows, those things you know about yourself that you don't like. And you do your best to suppress. We're going to talk about that today. So when you can sense all of what you're feeling in your body, gut, and heart more fully, you can actually address what's getting in your way and heal it. And yes, the process might be messy, but we're going to embrace the mess when we can, like, love, accept, and embrace all of the parts of who we are, including the shadows we struggle with. We can love our humanness and really shine. So, Natalie Gentry, welcome.
Natalie Gentry: [04:18] Oh, my gosh, thank you. I'm thrilled and honored to be spending time with you.
Michelle Fox : Yes, as I mentioned, I don't care. [04:24]
04:26
Natalie Gentry: [04:26] What venue it is, this is always a treat, as I'm sure all of your peeps understand and can take in.
Michelle Fox : Thank you for saying that. [04:26] Yes, I absolutely feel that our friendship is a privilege, and I truly am honored to be able to share just a glimpse of it in this conversation with my community. So thank you again for being here.
Natalie Gentry: Absolutely my pleasure and honor. [04:52]
04:54
Michelle Fox : [04:54] So I just dropped a lot in this intro, which already is feeling like, one, I just want to take a deep breath, and then two, I've got, like, ten more questions, but before that, I would love to invite you to play a game, especially since you are one of my playmates. Is it safe to assume you'll say yes to playing a game with me?
Natalie Gentry: Oh, heck yes, [05:20] You know that.
Michelle Fox : That is our Natalie. [05:24] So wonderful. So when I say sweet, savory, or salty, which one resonates for you?
Natalie Gentry: [05:35] Oh, I just saw sweet savory. Okay.
Michelle Fox : Okay. I like it.
Natalie Gentry: [05:40] I may go a little rogue on you.
Michelle Fox : No, not mine, Natalie.[05:44] Never. I love it. With all of the healing work you do, there also comes the admin piece, which, for better or worse, comes with all of our businesses. So in that light, when you're looking at your inbox, do you consider yourself woman inbox zero or woman inbox 10,000?
06:09
Natalie Gentry: [06:09] Oh, gosh, I would say woman inbox. I'd say 1000. Or maybe I once again, in between, I'm an extrovert and an introvert. And so there's a part of me where I just think, whoa, this is great. And then there are times where I'm just like, you know what? I'm done.
Michelle Fox: I get it.
Natalie Gentry: I absolutely get that. It also depends on whose emails are in my box.
Michelle Fox: [06:39] I absolutely respect that as well. All right. And then last but not least, would you be willing to share a story from your childhood in the kitchen?
Natalie Gentry: [06:50] Yes, I would. Okay, so a story from my childhood. Speaking of going rogue, and I think that this is partly informed how I moved into where I'm at right now. I remember when I was in elementary school, I had friends, and I know when you're in elementary school, they're the cool kids and then they're the not so cool kids and everything like that. I remember that there were some kids in elementary school that I loved, and everybody liked them until that one kid did something weird, like, there was one girl that ate paste, and somebody saw her, and so they got everybody to dislike her and make fun of her. And in the back of my mind, I was just sitting there, like, going, every last one of y'all know that you've been eating paste yourselves. You wanted to try it. We all did. And I remember there was one point in third grade where I think I got tired of it because I was the one that would always back up the little ones, the ones that didn't fight for themselves.
[07:52] And I remember a teacher getting mad at a student, and I was like, going, that's not right. And she got mad at me. And so I protested by leaving the classroom and sitting outside in the hallway, and I protested. I had no idea what civil disobedience at the time, but I knew in my heart that I was right. And there was one girl that followed me, and the principal came and talked to us. And then the girl who was with me, her mother was called. And what I found out later was that her mother was trying very hard not to laugh.
08:29
Michelle Fox: I can only imagine as myself being a mom and thinking of some of angels.
Nathalie Gentry: Absolutely right. So you're just sort of like, Why? Okay, that was sweet. Get back in the class. Exactly. I appreciate what you're doing, Kumbaya. Go back to class.
Michelle Fox: [08:47] So the civil disobedience started at a young age. It sounds like it did.
Nathalie Gentry: [08:52]And I think what also started was really being able to see the truth and the coolness of who and each individual was and how important that is to really nourish that and allow it to grow and to evolve, because that's what makes life juicy.
Michelle Fox: [09:11] And so as you were sharing this story of the children eating the paste. And you said this is where it. Brought you today, I know you've mentioned just a little bit, but I would love to know a lot of it about the shadow work that you're currently learning about and engaging in.
Nathalie Gentry: Oh, gosh. [09:28] So what I do let me take a step back, because all of a sudden, my brain went way ahead of my mouth. What shadow coaching is. And interestingly, when I graduated from massage school back in 1998 yeah, I just dated myself. But when I graduated from massage school, one of the things that I was very clear about, actually this occurred to me while I was in massage school, was that I actually did coaching or counseling with somebody from Neuropa because I went to massage school in Boulder College massage therapy. And they had a partnership with Neuropa University, where their therapy students would come in, and we would be their guinea pigs, if you will, as they were working up their hours to become therapists, and I had one because I was terrified of taking tests. I knew that from college and everything. So with massage school, there was a lot of math and science, certainly a lot of science and everything like that.
[10:32] And I knew that wasn't my Baileywick, and so I got support for it. And one of the things that I found was being able to talk to this therapist and then also working with massage as well. There was a lot of opening that took place. And what I realized was that's what I wanted to do, because there's a beautiful place for massage, but there's also a place to open where the emotional piece can actually evolve as well. And I was waiting to find the right program, and I just figured someday something will evolve. And then all of a sudden, I found out about the Shadow coaching program and the woman who created it. Her name is Suzanne Hannah, and it's the Wilderness Walk Shadow Coaching Program. She was a student of Ayanla Van Zant, and I'm a huge fan and a huge admirer of Ayanla Van Zant's work, because she knows how to hit you with love, and she knows how to keep it real.
[11:33] She doesn't mince her words. And I love that honesty, and I love that openness. And so that's what really attracted me to that. And it's something that I had always been doing with my clients, but I just wanted to hone my skills and really do more work with the thing that I found. And the reason why it is so wonderful for clients to experience is that if you're trying to get pregnant or if you have some kind of physical issue that you're experiencing, sometimes what can happen is that there's an emotional hook that can actually inform or create the physical infirmity. And so if we can work with the physical and then also work with the emotional piece, that can allow both the physical healing and the emotional healing that you may not have recognized was at play.
Michelle Fox: So powerful and to take a few steps back just to bring our listeners in on the journey that you and I have had together. [12:28] I know I found you almost 25 years ago now when I was trying to get pregnant, and you are so amazing with the Mayan abdominal massage. And as you're explaining this process, I absolutely am relating, because not only did you physically heal some things that were happening in my body, but mentally, I always looked forward to going to our session because you were very intuitive with my body. But you'd also just the questions you'd ask were very compassionate. You weren't one of my practitioners saying, you should get off of sugar. You should stop drinking. Like, you were never shooting on me. You were just like, well, have you considered this? Have you considered that? And I'm even getting goosebumps thinking of it right now. I just always remember looking forward to our sessions together.
Nathalie Gentry: So thank you for that. Oh, my gosh. My pleasure.
Michelle Fox: [13:29] Also, I wanted to bring up taking just tiny step backward before we started this show, when I said shadow, and I immediately went to that's the dark side, you corrected me. And before I mince it up, like, I would love just to know, what is your definition of the shadow journey?
Nathalie Gentry: [13:50] The definition of the shadow journey is giving yourself permission to explore things about yourself that you may have suppressed or repressed for any reason. And it can be the light and it can be the darkness, because both of those may create levels of discomfort or uncomfortableness. And when you can sit with your shadow, whether it be the dark or whether it be the light and integrate it, then it allows you to feel more freedom, openness and wholeness within yourself, so that you can live a life that really feels more like your own rather than the life that you may have co opted. Because that's what society says that your life is supposed to look like. And it's really interesting. And part of the reason why this has been an important journey for me was when I turned 40 and went through a divorce. It's around that age, late 30s, even up to the early 50s, where a lot of times people start questioning their lives, questioning, am I doing what it is that I was put here to do?
[15:05] Am I really enjoying my life? And am I really living my life in a way that really is an expression of who I am as a person? A Lot Of times, what that Means is you kind of Go Through The dark night Of The Soul, and you go through this Rebirthing process where you really Take A Cold, hard look at All Of The ways in which You Show Up, and you Embrace The Ones That Fit, and you kind of Let The Ones That Don't Fit fall away. Yes.
Michelle Fox: [15:34] And it's so powerful to create community around that, because, as you just mentioned, you were around 40 when you were going through your divorce process. I, too, was around 40 when I was going through my divorce process. And I believe that's actually when you and I reconnected, because we worked together as practitioner and client for many years, and then actually you tell the story. Do you remember?
Nathalie Gentry: Yes. [15:58] I was heading to Mexico for Breath workshop, and I was on the little bus going to Dia, and I look up, and I was thinking, that looks. A lot like Michelle. And of course, I was looking and looking, and then I heard your voice, and I was like, That's Michelle. But it turns out that were both going through our transitions at the same time. Yeah.
Michelle Fox: [16:24] We built our friendship around finding our way through being single again, through deciding what we really wanted our lives to look like through what we wanted our friendship to look like. So that was really powerful. And I just love that story, and I'm highlighting that story to just remind our listeners that right now, specifically right now, this time of year, it is very likely you're going through a transition, whether it's transition with your hormones and your body transition. Perhaps if you have children in the house, maybe they're either leaving the house and or moving on to a different school or different grades. Perhaps yourself are looking at a transition in your primary partnership. But there's a lot there. And so, Natalie, with the work that you do, I know it's very in depth, and I would never ask you to do a full session with me right now, although I really want one.
[17:21] But can you give us a tool or two for some of us who might be feeling that heaviness through a transition that we're going through that might just either lighten the load or help us find our way?
Nathalie Gentry: [17:31] Absolutely. So what I would like you to do and everybody who's with us at the moment, I would like for you to sit back in your chair, feet flat on the floor, and I want you to take some deep breath and close your eyes, let your awareness go inward. And I want you to visualize yourself or imagine yourself in the middle of a forest. And as you are walking through this forest, you come to a tree and you see a doorway at the base of this tree. So you open the doorway, you walk into it, and you see the spiral staircase twisting down and down this darkened tree inside the tree. And you keep going down and down until you get to the bottom and there's a doorway. I want you to open that doorway and walk through it. You have now just walked into your safe, happy space, and I want you to notice what that space looks like.
[19:09] Is it indoors? Is it outdoors? Is it a combination of the two? Is it in a forest? Is it on a beach? Is it in a meadow? Is it somewhere else? And I want for you to notice what are you wearing? Is it day or is it night? Is your hair up or down? What color are your clothes? Are they loose and flowy, or are they confined and restrictive? And what are you doing in this space? Are you relaxing? Are you frolicking? Are you connecting with others? Are you there by yourself? Are you there with other people? And what are the top three sensations or ways in which you are experiencing yourself? Would you describe those ways as being playful or pensive, joyful? Serious? Are you dancing? Do you feel expansive or contracted? And I want you to choose, and I want you to feel, really feel into those spaces where you are expressing your highest self and you are feeling your highest self, I want you to take those juiciest parts of you and really breathe those things in.
[21:44] And when you have completed breathing those things in and you feel like you can actually really embody them, I want you to thank the space that you're in, your happy place. I want you to thank your playmates. I want you to go back to that door, walk through it ascend that spiral staircase, and then when you get to the top, open the door and step back out into that forest. And I want you to continue to sense and feel those experiences that you've just had, because they are you. And when you're ready, just let your eyes float open. How do you feel?
Michelle Fox: [22:54] Oh, my goodness. I feel relaxed. I feel encouraged. I feel inspired. I feel lighter.
[23:14] I will say I've been doing some introspection about what my future might look like and how I want to design my future with my business in particular. And some things, I will admit, have felt a little heavy in the meditation you just did. I saw myself in the future. I didn't even expect to go there. So I saw myself on the beach on my favorite couch that Khadija Taylor found for me. She was on a podcast recently. So this couch is coming with me to the beach. And I saw my grandchildren running around on the beach. I saw Steve talking with some people. I saw myself giving specific directions to our chef. Like, it felt very real, very loving. And that gives me a whole lot more hope around some things that I've been thinking about.
Nathalie Gentry: [27:17] Oh, you're welcome. Absolutely. This is what I would like for you to keep in mind, too. And when we talk about the darkness and the heaviness, a lot of times things are heavy. Not because they're heavy, but because of the story we're making up about them. And a lot of the times, what you resist, it persists, and it gets bigger. Yeah. My instructors would always say, if it's in the chair, it's in the room. What do you like in the chair?
[24:40] It's in the room. If you're feeling heavy, if there's a feeling of heaviness in your body, it's sitting in the chair. And so if it's sitting in the chair, acknowledge that it's in the room. I'm with you. Okay? Yeah.
[24:55] And a lot of times, the struggle and the stuckness that we feel has to do with the fact that we are not acknowledging what's sitting in the chair and what's sitting in the room with us. So if we can sit and acknowledge that and look at it with love and look at it with kindness and recognize that we are all made up of lightness and dark, and neither one of them is better or worse than the other thing, does that make sense? Because, like, for example, if we experience anger, a lot of times we love to scream Kumbaya and be in this loving place. But sometimes there are things that make us angry, there are things that make us sad. And a lot of times what we experience as adults, and especially when we get to middle age, if we've been ignoring things or making things mean something.
[25:51] And then by the time we get to 40 or my case, though over 50 yes, by the time we get to our age, things can be really heavy, because we never agreed to those things in the first place. They never felt good to us. So let's sit back, take a deep breath and acknowledge those things. Because a lot of times what the anger is about is just something that we didn't acknowledge as being important to us. And there's some place back in our psyche that's saying, d*** it, this is important. And anger can also be a cover for sadness, for grief. And so unless we take a look at that, we're not going to look at the other stuff that's there, too. And the same thing that goes for the Golden Shadow, too. Like, I love the fact that you said that you were able to project yourself and see yourself in the future.
[26:52] At a lot of times what I found for myself is I am now finally where I have all the tools, and I've got the program and all of the tools that I have always wanted in order to really work with people in a way that I have wanted to. And as I look back, because I'm a Leo, we're not known for patience.
Michelle Fox: Same with SAGITTARIUS.
Nathalie Gentry: [27:17] Absolutely. That's a darkness. Yes. But what I do realize is that I always have kept my eye on prize, and I have always kept my focus on, this is where I want to go, and this will show up at some point. No, it didn't show up exactly in my time schedule, but it showed up just the same. And what I also found was that it showed up right on time, because I am now in a space where I can really get behind it, embody it, and really feel the truth of what it is. And the road that I had to go on, I needed to go on it in order to get where I am, because I've got a wisdom now that I didn't have ten years ago. Great.
Michelle Fox: Amen. All in divine timing. Absolutely. I didn't mean to go off like that.
[28:09] That was beautiful and right on time. I did want to take another micro step back because I had mentioned some of my darkness. And in my community, we've got a lot of mama bears. And so I already know they're saying, well, what's wrong with Michelle? Why is she sad? And so I did want to just bring to light. And I'm definitely happy to workshop with you if you feel it's appropriate, but the darkness or the heaviness that I have been feeling this quarter is that I set out with a goal to build a high performing team. And without getting into too many details, I will just say I did not meet said goal for first quarter of this year. And without getting into the nitty gritty, to your point, what you were just sharing, those old messages have been running in my head of you should have known better.
[28:57] What could you have done better to get the right people on your team? Because, I mean, just a tiny bit of color. I have worked with three or four people. Now, out of those four, there's one on my team. She's amazing, but I still need more help. And so the other story is I have to do everything myself. I guess I could go on and on, which I don't want to, because being in that icky feeling is icky. So all of that to say, is there something that I can either do physically or mentally to get myself out of that hamster will. And let's just even start with that one phrase of I have to do everything by myself. I'm all alone. That's been a theme throughout my entire life, just as a high performer myself. And I'd like to release that burden because I want to believe in other people. I want to believe that I don't have to do this business by myself.
Nathalie Gentry: [29:47] Right. The first thing that comes to mind when you say that you had a goal for this quarter, and you're being hard on yourself, and that's my take on it. You're being hard on yourself. But allow me to interject my own opinion. Bring it. That's why I invited you on this show therapy session. Oh, gosh. Well, this is the first thing. What are you making it mean? So you had a goal, and you made all of these efforts, and one part worked out, these other parts didn't. What are you making that mean?
Michelle Fox: Yeah, that's a good question. [30:26] What's coming to me right now is just that I'm tired. Like, I'm making it mean that I want to continue spreading my message on culinary nutrition and healing menopause through nutrition. And it's taking a toll on me doing it myself. And so I'm taking it to mean questioning, like, how do I move forward by myself and or how do I move forward with the faith that I know the right person is going to show up at the right time?
Nathalie Gentry: [30:57] There are a couple things that are popping up for me right now. The first thing that I'm hearing is, what if the person, like, say you said you have four positions, and one is locked, but the other three, they're still up in the air. What if that there is another dream person shows up in the next three months, and then another person shows up six months after that, then another person shows up a year or two after that?
Michelle Fox: [31:25] I know we're not doing breath work, but you just gave me this big, beautiful breath of spaciousness. You're exactly right because I've been so focused on it had to happen this first quarter so that I could hit the ground running for second quarter. But you're exactly right. I'm the one creating these timelines that may or may not be realistic. I understand, but hearing your suggestion, that's so compassionate. You're exactly right. It does not have to happen all overnight.
Nathalie Gentry: [31:52] And it doesn't. And that doesn't mean that you don't want that to happen right now. Correct? Because I do.
[32:01] But in the meantime, what is it that you can learn? What's there for you to learn that in the meantime? What's coming up for me? And the reason why I ask that is because in building my business and everything, some of the things that I had to learn was trust. There were times where I had to push and there was no way around it. There were times where I had to just sit back and allow there are times where I had to really learn exactly what it is that I'm wanting and needing from somebody else and also being willing to state it. Yeah, I've got nice girl syndrome recovering in the process of recovering from nice girl syndrome and that can be a challenge as well. Those are some questions that I throw out to you because those three that fell away, I'm glad they fell away because you need somebody that really works with and for you in a way that you really need and there's no reason or need for you to compromise on something that really isn't a good fit for you.
[33:09] But in the meantime, also if you are feeling that heaviness and you're feeling that frustration, number one is being able to breathe through it and really feeling yourself in that space of I'm really frustrated and I'm really tired. And then if you give yourself space to breathe, see what comes up. Because what's coming up for me as I'm feeling into this is maybe I can extend my timeline out because I'm tired, because I'm anxious and then maybe even dance it out too. Be an expression. Yeah, absolutely. Turn some music on. And if you're mad at those three people because they want a good fit, you can dance that out. And ugly dance too. It doesn't even have to look like it's. No dance moves. Just allow yourself to feel the anger and to be an expression of it. And if you're feeling that tiredness, how does that tiredness want to move in you?
[34:10] How does it feel to move that tiredness and let that be the expression? Because a lot of times what I have found that a lot of times when people are feeling the heaviness, it's because they're suppressing it. And that takes a lot of energy. So if you give it space, you give it time to be in the. Room. Then all of a sudden, that mountain is reduced to a mole hill so that you can actually address it with a bit more calm and feeling a bit more in control.
Michelle Fox: [34:36] I can already tell I will be playing this podcast episode on repeat. This, Natalie, has been such a gift. So to my listeners, you have now a meditation that you can play on repeat at your leisure. You now have this advice to dance it out with whatever frustrations, sadness, anger you're feeling. And you have Natalie's voice. So I honestly do want you to play this episode as much as you feel necessary to heal. And of course, if you want to work more directly with Natalie and get some of her juicy goodness, her juicy wisdom. Natalie, where can we come find you?
Nathalie Gentry: Oh, gosh. [35:22] Well, I would love to work with everybody. And right now, reach out to me to www.nataliegentry.com. That's my current website. I'm in the middle of building a website that is focused primarily solely on the coaching work that I do and everything that will at least get you in the door. And if you would like to reach out to me as well, you can email me, [email protected], or you can call 303-325-4150.
Michelle Fox: [35:58] Well, we will put all of this information in the show notes. And before we end, I mean, this time just went way too fast. Is there anything that you might want to add before we close?
Nathalie Gentry: Oh, gosh. [36:11] What I will say is thank you for creating this platform, because all of this is about healing and living your best life. And not only is it just I appreciate being on here to talk about the emotional stuff, but also recognizing that also supporting yourself through food and all of these little bits are what really can create a life where you really feel held. And so thank you for being a way shower.
Michelle Fox: It is really my honor.
Nathalie Gentry: [36:48] Absolutely. And it's so wonderful to see and feel that there is this kind of movement that's bubbling up that really is here to help people move through these transitions with a bit more ease and grace.
Michelle Fox: [37:05] We are in this together. That is my main reason for building community. So thank you for being part of this community and for, as you said, holding this community as well. I'm I'm so grateful.
Nathalie Gentry: Thank you. [37:17] And then also, we can laugh at the clown music we hear in our heads too, because sometimes that's actually quite funny. [37:26] Yes, laugh while I'm dancing it out.
Michelle Fox: [37:31] I heard that. Amazing. Well, thank you again and we will talk very soon.
Nathalie Gentry: Oh my gosh. So good to see you. Thank you as well. [37:41]
Michelle Fox: [37:48]Thanks so much for listening to Nourish. Have you been driving, doing laundry, or walking around the neighborhood? Sweet.I've got show notes for you. Hop on over to Michellefox.com podcast when you are ready. I will let you know that on the page you will find resources to support what you just learned on today's show. And then, of course, you can grab some health supportive freebies as well. If you enjoyed this episode, I would be honored if you would leave a review on whichever podcast platform you are listening on. It will help me with my mission to build healthier communities one person at a time. And it will help you because you will be part of that mission. I'll be back next week and I encourage you to keep showing up for yourself and know that you and your health matter. Big love.
