HSN Episode #38: Hormones and the Blues with Jazmin Umuolo
Michelle Fox: [00:00:00] Hello, my friend. You may have noticed a little bit different branding on this episode. Yes, welcome to our new name. It is called Nourish with Michelle Fox. We've had healthy, sexy nutrition since September of last year. Oh, my goodness. And we're already here at episode 39. This experience has been so incredible, and each conversation gets deeper and richer, and the audience has been growing and giving amazing feedback and amazing support, and you are part of that. So thank you.
This is actually a great time to ask for a review as well. It literally takes under five minutes and when you leave a review specifically. On Apple podcasts, it helps other people find us so that we can reach more people and, of course, help to build healthier communities one person at a time and I would love for you to. Be a part of that.
So sit back, listen in. [00:01:04] This episode 39, I Will Tell You. Was recorded in early March, and so you'll notice a few references to that time period. But I decided to keep all of it. That information is because, one, you know. Your girl, we're keeping things authentic, and two, all of the information is still very relevant. So I hope you enjoyed this episode. I'll talk to you soon.
[00:01:34] Welcome to nourish. I am Michelle Fox, culinary nutritionist health coach and your host for this podcast. I teach busy professionals how to get more nutrition in their bodies and how to have more fun in their home kitchens. If you struggle with consistency or sometimes forget to make your needs a priority, you, my friend, are in the right place. Join me each week for inspiration to increase your energy, strengthen your mindset, manage your hormonal woes, and so much more. You have a lot on your plate, but that does not mean your nutrition should suffer. You deserve to live in a body and have a life that you love.
So let's dig in. [00:02:22] So, friends, I'm leaning in a little bit because this first quarter of the year, I will tell you girls had a bit of the blues. Like, you may have seen the Beautiful Women's retreat. And, yes, it was amazing in Costa Rica. And you may have seen some of my silly videos on Instagram. And, yes, I am absolutely having fun on social media, and there's not a b***. But, Anne, I have to admit to you, I've been a little sad. And it's something I really believe it has to do with the weather. It's been extra cold here in Colorado. I think it has to do with the transition now that I have three teenagers in my house and they need mommy less and less.
[00:03:16] It also has something to do with it. I'm doing a lot of first here in my business, Michelle Fox, culinary nutritionist. And it's just been a lot of a lot. So, yes, there has been incredible joy and incredible opportunities to serve, but there's also been sadness and I want to talk to you because I am so clear that I'm not alone. Also, I want to share the amazing news that we have a guest today who's going to help talk to us about those blues because not only has she been there, done that, but she works with women to help walk them through the process and help them get to the other side. So this, my friends, is none other than Jasmine Umuolo.
Let me read her bio because I think that'll give you a little bit more color and you'll understand why I asked her to the podcast to chat with us. [00:04:11] So Jasmine is a graduate of Z Texas Southern University and she is a current stay at home mom to three beautiful babies. They are ages six, three and two. And I love that she calls them babies because even though I still have three teenagers, I still definitely call them my babies. So I totally get that. She homeschools her eldest child and she is still trying to receive a five out of five score for her teaching skills. Her first ebook, Birthing Like My Ancestors, details her decision to birth her second child at home after a non stellar experience in the hospital.
[00:04:52] Jasmine's goal in writing the book was to inform women of the choices they may not know are available to them. Jasmine helps overwhelmed mothers remove the superwoman cape. Yes. Again, this is why she is here, to help your girl as well and ask for help to do this. She is currently working on creating a community of women on the internet that are focused on parenting through love and not perfection. She understands that striving for perfection creates most of the overwhelm that we feel as mothers. One of the best ways to combat that is by having a community to speak with that will encourage your efforts and not judge your mistakes. So, Jasmine, welcome to healthy, sexy nutrition.
Jazmine Umuolo: [00:05:39] Wow, it sounds so beautiful when you read it, I was like, oh, this person sounds amazing.
Michelle Fox: Because she absolutely is. I so love the work you are doing in the world, including the work you're doing in your microcosm raising three babies. That is incredible.
Jazmine Umuolo: [00:05:59] I do want to say I know it sounds wild when you say six, three and two. That's currently because the three year old is about to be four. So there is some space, there is a two year gap in between each of them just for a little short span of time. It sounds wild. Yes. I like to call the youngest the babies because they go like they travel in a pack now and then. The oldest is my little mama, so that's kind of how we refer to them. What are the babies up to? Babies guess.
Michelle Fox: I absolutely [00:06:30] get that because I think even as I'm getting closer to having adult children, I have a feeling I'm still going to be calling them babies when they're in their twenty s. I think it's just part of the game as far as the sadness. We're going to delve a bit deep today, but first I want to have some fun. Are you into playing a game with me? Oh, yes. And from my friends who are watching us on YouTube, I will tell you, Jasmine taught me some moves right before we hit record. So you know we're already having some fun up here. Yes. Okay, so this game is called Rapid Fire. So quick, top of your head. I have not prepared our guests, but let's go. Okay, so when I say sweet, salty or savory, which do you choose?
Jazmine Umuolo: [00:07:23] I'm back in my sweet space. I'm back in the sweet season right now. I want all the chocolate. I love the oatly non-dairy ice cream. So good. So I like to get a little bowl when the kids are asleep. Sneak that in, get mint chocolate chips. Yes. All about the sweets right now.
Michelle Fox: That actually sounds delicious. I like their oat milk, but I've never tried their frozen goodies. So thank you for the tip. I will check them out next time.
Jazmine Umuolo: The bars are really good too. The kids love the strawberry swirl ice cream bar. Cut that into three for the kids.
Michelle Fox: Delicious. Okay, second question. And you have children, so you might not have time to watch too much TV, but if you do, I would love to know what's the last show you binged and loved.
Jazmine Umuolo: [00:08:12] binged and loved. Oh, my gosh. I'm embarrassed to say I haven't finished Binging anything yet. I started a good thing, actually. I got like halfway through the Circle on Netflix and I didn't finish it. I just started the queen's court on peacocks. Probably. I'm going to finish Queen's court. So I will say that Evelyn Lazada, Tamar Braxton and Nivia are finding love.
Michelle Fox: I have not heard of that show. Interesting. Okay, so last and final Rapid Fire question. Would you be willing to share a memory in the kitchen in your childhood?
Jazmine Umuolo: [00:08:52] Yes, I would. So the one that comes to mind, my dad recorded my brother and I making. Sofrito it's a seasoning that you can freeze and we had to grind everything up, get it all together. And then he put it in the freezer and he told us, I'm going to have this. So when you're older, you can come back and you can watch the tape and you know exactly how to make it. Have yet to get the tape. I'm pretty confident. This was like on VH. I don't know if you converted to DVD, but yeah, that's one of the biggest ones. And then my grandma is telling me to make sure that I say having coffee with grandma and her asking me, do you want coffee with your cream? Because when I was younger, like a teenager, it was mostly cream in my coffee. [00:09:39] I will honor grandma Maggie by acknowledging that. Now, Grandma, you would be so proud to know it's mostly coffee.
Michelle Fox: [00:09:47] And there you have it. Thank you, Grandma. That is super sweet. And going back to your dad, I absolutely understand the intention there. Like, I have compassion for the intention because I know there's probably 1000 things I have intended to do for my daughter in particular, and that's out the window, which actually leads straight into the work you do. I love watching you on Instagram and you show these mommy fails and the parents fails. I'm like almost everything you say, I'm like, yep, I can relate to that one. Do you have any Mommy Fails that are fresh that you want to share with us at this point?
Jazmine Umuolo: Just went live and I talked about this.[00:10:24] There was spring break this week, and I had planned with our mom group at the library. Oh, my gosh, you guys are on spring break. You're on spring break. It's perfect. We'll get all the kids together. Let's go to the Desert Botanical Gardens. They're having community days so we can get in for free. A nice cheap day. The kids will have time together. And I didn't factor in if they're on spring break. Everyone's on spring break, or at least a good chunk of the state. And it was so packed, we got to maybe three exhibits.
The first exhibit my kids didn't even want to go in, which we ended up splitting up as a group because to get into the kids section, you had to write your name down, and it was on a reservation, and it was intense. So my poor kids were like that, but [00:11:08] I wanted to play with my friends.
Michelle Fox: [00:11:11] It was poor planning on my part, so I take full responsibility for that. But I promise them we'll go back, we'll redo, we'll make it up, we'll get it together, maybe our friends can pull their kids from school one day and just go to the gardens.
Jazmine Umuolo: It's a big field trip, and there you have it. And I know out of all of that, the kids have a good story. The least of it, they remember, like. Sitting in the wagon, eating lunch and playing tag in the dirt and using a tree stump as hot chocolate. So all good things still happened.
Michelle Fox: [00:11:44] Sounds about right. Wow. Well, it is so easy to giggle with you and to see the light and feel the laughter. I am guessing this has been a journey for you, especially since you've already opened up and let us know that you have dealt with depression. And one of the reasons why I wanted to have you on because, yes, you tend to speak to a younger crowd than perhaps the crowd I speak to. However, the thing that I see that we have very much in common is this mood that can often be affected by hormones, which, as you know, I teach how nutrition can affect the hormones, but I know you've come at it a few different ways. And so before we jump into tools and how we can help others, would you be willing to share a little bit about your journey through depression?
Jazmine Umuolo: [00:12:31] I will say, if I'm being honest, it's been a lifelong thing, little since nothing that I ever really felt worthy to admit. I'll say I always had my struggles, but it got a little more intense with my very first pregnancy. A time that's supposed to be happy, go lucky and wonderful and beautiful. And I was very excited about my first semester of pregnancy. [00:12:52] Kind of feels that way sometimes, right?
[00:12:55] My first trimester, everything was great. And then I hit the second and I had really bad groin pain and I just felt depleted, like I wasn't getting that energy rush that everyone said. And then by the third, I was really down on myself. I remember even at one appointment, the doctor looking at me and saying, you're just so hard on yourself. I think you just need to ease up. And granted, I wasn't seeing the same doctor every time. I hadn't even seen him every visit. So just in the little bit and this was me going over my birth plan at the visit. And just from that, he was like, you need to breathe. It's not going to be perfect. But the biggest problem and the biggest part of the struggle was I wasn't saying anything.
[00:13:40] Nobody knew my husband, didn't know my friends, and didn't know my parents' coworkers. I was having passive suicidal thoughts, driving home sometimes and just being like, oh, I could just get in an accident right now and I won't have to feel like this anymore. And then obviously, my logic brain comes in and, no, we're not going to do that. It's not just you, it's a two person thing. There was other stuff going on as well that added fuel to the fire. I was pregnant at the same time as a coworker who had struggled with fertility, and she lost her baby even while we're pregnant together. So I'm feeling depressed. I'm having a physically healthy pregnancy, right? Nothing that's going to put me on bed rest mentally, I'm breaking.
[00:14:27] And then I have this rush of guilt. How can I even have these thoughts and feelings when this person couldn't even really enjoy the experience that I did? On top of that, I give birth and I kid you not, it's not an exaggeration. As soon as my daughter became Earth side, as soon as I pushed my daughter out, I felt the depression just lift off of my body. I felt a huge weight off of my shoulders. I felt light, I felt free, I felt happy. And the whole time I was worried, like, she's going to be born and I'm not even going to enjoy the moment. And do you think that was like it?
Michelle Fox: A hormonal rush in the moment? Like, was it physical or do you think it was mental or both?
Jazmine Umuolo: [00:15:08] I think it was all of the above. I think all of the hormones that go on during pregnancy and they don't talk about it. And I didn't know that you could be depressed during pregnancy. I didn't know that this was a thing. I didn't know that this was something that happened tons of women. So I thought it was just my circumstance because it was something that I had somewhat battled for so long. You could blame it on certain things and say, oh, it's my birth control, or I'm stressed because of what's going on with the basketball team, or My boyfriend is stressing me out. That's why I feel this way. But when it's something that's supposed to be so beautiful and life changing, it can't be that, right? And then it's followed by stay in the hospital. That takes forever.
[00:15:52] And nurses who don't really want to help, but who give me a survey, postpartum survey. I won't say that it's nothing that they don't give to anyone else, but I will say I've yet to meet someone that's had this survey. I answered honestly, okay. And I was met with a social worker in my room who asked me things like, do you have insurance? Do you have a job? Are you married? What does this have to do with feeling sad? Then it's a team of doctors and nurses that follow. She gives the okay, oh, this looks like a happy home. Everything should be fine. And then they all come in, oh, well, you know, at your six weeks, we'll check in with you. If you need anything, you call us. If we need to go on medication, we'll go that route.
And I'm just like, this went a little backwards. Feel like there should have been a little more community first instead of, can [00:16:44] she keep her baby? That's at least the vibe I was getting. Like, can she go home with her child first, and then we'll see if we can help her. Which cut to why after that, I was like, yeah, I'm good off the hospital. I'm good. Baby in the car seat, check to go home. [00:17:02] And she came in. She looked like she was like, yeah, that doesn't look right. Okay, well, can you tell me how to fix it? You know what I'm doing? And then I thought I was going to be great. After that, I got this, and then I got the baby blues after having my second. So again, another hormonal change. Yeah.
Michelle Fox: [00:17:23] So it sounds like the first birth was traumatic because you had the depression while you were pregnant or most likely due to hormones. And then when the baby came, sounds like a very cold environment in the hospital. And then the second child, was it similar hormonal issues while you were pregnant?
Jazmine Umuolo: [00:17:43] It was great. It was a smooth pregnancy. I felt a lot better. I think I felt more prepared for it. I kind of was waiting for it to happen. And I spoke up. Like I said the first time, I didn't say anything. I kept it to myself. I remember sitting in the rocking chair looking at my husband and I'm about to cry. What's wrong? I can't even say. I don't know. Like, how do I tell you? I don't want to do this. This is crazy. Don't make me do this. But second time around, I just made sure. I'm tired. I will let him know I'm tired. I need rest. I need time. I need help. He was already helping with the baby, but can you help me in this area? Can you help me with that? And that definitely helped. [00:18:22] During the pregnancy, I will say postpartum, I did have the baby blues, but I talked through it.
Michelle Fox: Good. And when you say you talked through it, are you talking to a therapist? Are you talking to your husband's friends? [00:18:34] Who are you talking to? My husband. And when I mean, I said I talked through it, Michelle. I was saying what I was thinking and it wasn't always pretty. I love my baby girl. I have to say this before I say what's about to be said. I love my child. I love her. She's literally mommy's girl. My second child is. I'm sure you've seen her. Will you be the six months of calls? If any kid came, it was always her, right? And I remember I told my husband, like, I just want to hang out with our oldest. I know exactly what she wants. I know exactly how to handle her. Like, I don't know what to do with this baby. And at this point, it's just a nuisance. It's like, don't say that. I just need to get it out. Classified. Don't say it. [00:19:12] It's going to get worse. I just need to let you know this is how I feel. I know that it'll get better, but in this moment, this is hard, really hard. And I didn't know it was going to be this hard. So got through it. And like I said, she's mom Bible. Yes, she is. And I'm so curious, how did you learn those tools? Or how did you find that sense for self advocacy?
Jazmine Umuolo: [00:19:36] I think it was just more of a it's not working, what I'm doing currently. So maybe I should just try, like, the other extreme and see what happens.
Michelle Fox: [00:19:45]Good for you. And it also speaks to your relationship that you all have built the strength where your husband can be strong enough for you and we already know you've been strong enough for him. I think that's a fair assumption. Just being in a female body, I believe that's the way we've been conditioned in this world. So I want to talk more about when did you know that it was time to make a new choice? Because I know a lot of people who struggle with depression, there can actually be an addiction to that sadness. Like, it's to your point, you said, I've been feeling it for so long. It's been part of my life, like, very similar to sugar addiction or gambling addiction, like, really, any addiction.
[00:20:25] Depression can be an addiction for some of us who are like, well, at least this is what I know. This is familiar to me. So how did you know when enough is enough? I want to make some changes.
Jazmine Umuolo: [00:20:36] For me, it was seeing how it affected everyone else, and I don't recommend that, because I do want to say that any change you make should be the change that you want to make for yourself, because that's how you stick with something. But being sad and seeing that, I can't fully parent with love because I'm sad. I'm on edge. I don't like snapping at my kids. I don't like going through a day where I don't even want to see my husband, because then he might want to have a conversation, and I don't want to talk, and that's not fair to him because we already can't talk over these kids, right? Talk over a scream is like, why did you then I want to go a whole 24 hours without speaking to him. So I had to figure something out.
[00:21:24]I wasn't journaling enough, so I just thought maybe if I just say it, don't spray it, just speak it out, that will help, and maybe it won't take it away completely, that I can get over it faster. Like, that would be good. And as you said, for something that's going on my whole life, it's still something that I struggle with. I've been logging my cycle recently for the past year, and I'm seeing like, oh, okay. Those ten days before, those are my I call it low motivation days. Days where sometimes I don't even want to get out of bed because laying down seems so much easier. But going into it, being prepared for it, I can say, like, okay, well, on those days, maybe do a light workout, maybe drink a little bit more water. [00:22:09]I've noticed that heavy foods doesn't feel good on those days for me, physically, even. Like, I hold it even more in my body than on a normal day. Bloats. Cramps everything. So, like I said, it's not something that I completely gotten over. Still struggling with it today, but I'm finding ways, making slight adjustments to make it better for myself and for my family. Feeling sad isn't fun. I know you can get used. It can be comfortable as you suggest. It's not fun. [00:22:42] Nobody wants to feel that way. You want to just be happy all the time. I like when people see me and they're like, oh, so bubbly and light. Yes, I thank you. I want to be that way at least most of the time. Not 100%, but most of the time, I can't just pretend I'm not upset.
Michelle Fox: [00:23:04] And I think it's absolutely powerful that you are this age and you have this much awareness over tracking your cycles. I think that in itself is a lesson to listeners who are with us today, because I think when you know that, like you said, ten days before your period, you're going to have a low EV. And when you know that, I think you can walk through the world in a place of power. For the people in my community who may not have their wombs any longer and are menopausal and they're not bleeding anymore, I strongly recommend tracking your cycle with the moon. That's actually what I do because I am in menopause and I'm no longer bleeding. And very similar to what you're saying, I can tell it's usually when the moon is waning, that's when I get very quiet. [00:23:56] And similar to what you're just saying, I don't want to talk to anybody compared to the full moon. I'm like, okay, where are my people? Where are the cameras? Where's the light? [00:24:06] I'm ready to share my message. And so it's been a relatively new practice, but I would say probably a solid year now. I have my journal, I have the new moon and the full moon on my calendar, and I track when I want to do certain activities. And I can tell you, it's a more powerful position to be in. So whether you're bleeding or not, I think there are tools that can help us be more of who we want to be in the world.
Jazmine Umuolo: [00:23:34] I love how you said planning activities around it too. That's important. Something we miss out on is, you know when your hardest day is going to be. Don't put that day as the day you're going to get on a ten hour flight with that layover with the kid by yourself. Probably not the best day to plan that trip, right?
Michelle Fox: [00:24:56]That is asking for unnecessary pain, for sure. If you can control it. I know we can't always control these things, but where you can, I strongly recommend just trying. And so now, speaking of children, you actually wrote a book about birth. I want to know more about that.
Jazmine Umuolo: [00:25:18] Yes. Birthing like my ancestors is my first ebook. So it goes a little bit more in depth into my hospital story and that situation that happened, everything leading up to it. And then I talk about my top reasons for saying I think there might be another option. I had overheard a coworker say something about a birth center, and I kept that in my backlog memory, and I looked that up, did my Googles, and I transitioned. So I talk about the differences between the two births, positives and negatives, both births, and what I would have done for my first birth if I could do it over. Because I'm not anti hospital whatsoever. I tell any person who's pregnant for the first time to get the epidural.
Michelle Fox: Interesting. But you birthed twice naturally. I did get the epidural. [00:26:11] So your first two births I just need to pause for that for a moment. When you say naturally, does that mean you had zero drugs for your first two births?
Jazmine Umuolo: Yeah. When you birth at home, you can't do drugs. There's no drugs available for at home births. They won't allow midwives to use anything. If you do go into the birth center, you can use, like, nitrous oxide, nitrous. You can use nitrous gas at the birth. You birth at home, you got nothing but a pool.
Michelle Fox: Oh, boy. All the mamas birthing babies. My goodness.
Jazmine Umuolo: And I got an epidural the first time around. I talk about that because that is also a funny story. Share it.
Michelle Fox: We have time if you want to share.
Jazmine Umuolo: [00:26:51] The nurse that I got because everybody's switching, the staff is changing. But the nurse was supposed to help me during the epidural portion. She was transitioning into labor and delivery. She hadn't done labor and delivery before, so this was her first time assisting in an epidural. And she was nervous, very obviously nervous. Oh, no. Anesthesiologist he sounded like he knew what he was doing. So I was like, okay. [00:27:16]And all she has to do is hold my shoulders. I'm like, listen, whatever y'all got to do, make the pain go away. And then I'm leaning forward, and all I hear is he tells her, okay, you're going to give me this vial first. We'll just give it a letter. That's a vial. B vial goes second. Just give it in that order. That's your only job. Give it to me when I say A. When I say B, give me B. She's like, okay, cool. And I'm leaning over, and all I hear is, not that one.
Michelle Fox: No, you do not want to hear that. As a mama, Jasmine.
Jazmine Umuolo: I was like, girl, stay on the job. We all make mistakes.
Michelle Fox: You had the presence of mind to bring humor to the situation. Oh, boy.
Jazmine Umuolo: Those are the kind of things that happens to me. So what are you going to do? All you can do is laugh afterwards.
Michelle Fox: [00:28:09] You have a beautiful attitude. I love it. And so I know you are sharing this beautiful information and that beautiful attitude with others. Will you talk to us a little bit about the group you have going on?
Jazmine Umuolo: [00:28:22] I host a mommy vent session monthly, one day a month, Sundays, and where we can just get together vents about mommyhood, share tips, tricks, offer advice to each other, support each other as moms. And it's not just for moms of newborns or todd lawyers. The goal is to have moms of all ages and stages. And I envision on a call. I have a mom who's an empty nester, talking to a mom of preteen and walking her through things that happened through high school and then college. Having a mom. That is pregnant and a mom who just had a baby and she could walk her through. Oh, girl. This is what happened to me. A grandma on the call speaking to a woman who has a newborn and she doesn't want to ask her daughter in law, how often do I feed the baby?
[00:29:16] She could ask another mom who has a newborn. You said three months every 4 hours. Don't worry. I got you. We could all just help each other out. The concept, the idea we're building towards that. I think there's beauty in all stages of motherhood and there's little pieces that we can each gain from each other, even if it's just support.
Michelle Fox: Clearly, you have a heart for community. One of my people. So how do my people come find you if they want to be a part of this Yumminess.
Jazmine Umuolo: [00:29:45] I'm most active on Instagram right now at Jazzy Q-J-A-Z-Z-Y-Q-U. That's also where you can find me on YouTube. I just started my YouTube. You can see my field trips with the kids and see my jazzy care, my workouts, and different things that I plan to add to the channel. Same as the name at jazzyqu. You can also head to my website if you're interested in purchasing my ebook or if you just want to check out my blog, jazzyq myshopify.com check me out guys. If you like what you've seen, we.
Michelle Fox: Will absolutely put all of this in the show notes so that my community can come love on you and get loved back. So thank you, Jazzy Q for sharing your radiance with us, and thank you for being in my community. I so appreciate you.
Jazmine Umuolo: Thank you so much for having me. I am so honored. Thank you. Allowing me to come on here. Thank you so much, Michelle.
Michelle Fox: My pleasure. We'll talk soon.
[00:30:48] Thanks so much for listening to Nourish. Have you been driving, doing laundry, or walking around the neighborhood? Sweet.
I've got show notes for you. Hop on over to Michellefox.com podcast. When you are ready, I will let you know that on the page you will find resources to support what you just learned on today's show. And then of course, you can grab some health, supportive freebies as well. If you enjoyed this episode, I would be honored if you would leave a review on whichever podcast platform you are listening on. It will help me with my mission to build healthier communities one person at a time. And it will help you because you will be part of that mission. I'll be back next week and I encourage urge you to keep showing up for yourself and know that you and your health matter. Big love.
