Wow! As I wade through my former blog posts I see that I have been playing it safe this year. There are certain emotions that I felt when my divorce process was new, that I haven’t felt for a long time. It will be interesting to see how far I’ll push myself this go-round.
Here is the first post I published on June 14, 2010. As I read it again I can see how sincere I felt in helping others at the same time I was processing my pain. I’ve noticed a similar pattern re-emerge as I feel compelled to help others this season (Christmas caroling, baking for Angel’s teachers, community service, etc.) all while trying to have a zen holiday. It’s not working out so well as I fight this 3 week cold. It’s time for me to check out for this holiday so I can be more present with my family and with myself.
All of that to say…I wish you the most magical holiday season yet!
I will see you in the New Year. All of my love!
Oh wait a minute–that’s not very graceful, and it certainly is not true. It just feels like that’s what a lot of people want to hear.
I actually married a wonderful man: handsome, athletic, a great provider, loving father, and loyal friend. Unfortunately, after 11 years of marriage we have discovered that we are no longer compatible as husband and wife. Of course, many things factored into our decision to divorce and I’ll divulge more details as you and I get to know each other better.
When we began our separation last October, it seemed that a lot of our friends and associates wanted to pick a side. It’s been interesting to watch. I think that because my soon-to-be-ex-husband (STBX) and I set the tone to be loving and transparent with each other, most of our friends have followed suit. I went out of my way to ask my family members and best friends to offer STBX as much love and support as they could muster as we embarked on this complicated transition.
I truly believe that more divorces can be entered into lovingly and without the mud-slinging. I think that we as a society would benefit from more conscious divorce. It is so important – especially if there are children involved (we have a pre-schooler).
That is what has inspired me to take you on a journey through my emotions and behaviors. It is my attempt to spread grace to those who are also in the process of ending a relationship.
Separations and divorces are one of the most painful events in life, and historically they have been shrouded in shame. My goal is to start a conversation to alleviate as much guilt, fear, and disappointment as possible. I hope you will join me!
All my love,