More sparks! ~ The Graceful Divorce Rewind

A friend recently commented about how much love she sees between my partner and I just by the way we look at each other.  Of course this warms my heart!  I love how our love touches those around us.  God has truly matched me with a kindred spirit who also believes in sharing the good and uplifting others.  

It took many years for me to manifest this partnership.  Self-examination through reading, workshops, counseling, and a lot of prayer brought me to a space where I could show up and be ready for my life partner.  He did and is doing similar practices to show up for me.  So when I see others in healthy and happy relationships I naturally assume they have done the spiritual work as well. 

Here is an example of another couple who radiate love and friendship.  After reading this former blog post (October 15, 2010) from The Graceful Divorce archives, it is thrilling to see my friends Cynthia and Thomas are still madly in love today – 7 years later.  Melt!

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I’m off to Vegas to help celebrate my Grandmother’s 89th birthday!  [Editor’s note – 96 year old Grandma is still with us today.  Happy dance!!]  I look forward to reconnecting on this site next week. 

***Lisa Nicole Bell has invited me to be a part of her Inspired Life Radio Show on Monday morning (10/18/10).  Please join our conversation as we talk about gracefully ending a relationship & moving on with your life. I am absolutely thrilled to have this conversation with Lisa!

Please tune in at 10 AM PST/1 PM EST (click here) Inspired Life Radio Show.***

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Cynthia Zeki & Thomas Frierson are a dynamic married duo who work together through their company Spark of the Heart, based out of Chicago.  Their mission is to help people discover fearless and unconditional Divine Love for themselves, for others, and for all!  They accomplish this through workshops, classes, retreats, and individual consultations.

I thought it would be fun and intriguing to get a peek at their intimate and beautiful relationship, so they agreed to interview each other.  They’ve accomplished the task of opening my heart a little wider.  I hope this piece helps yours too.  Enjoy!

Cynthia: So Honeyman, I’ll go first.  We met on match.com.  Why were you trying internet dating?

Thomas: Because I wanted to broaden my sphere, meet people beyond my everyday life, beyond the range of my immediate experience.

C: Why was that important?

T: Well, I thought my Spirit required something bigger than I was accustomed to, and as far as meeting people in my circle of friends, I didn’t think any of them were worth meeting (chuckle).

C: So what drew you to my profile?

T:  I liked your picture–your eyes were prominent, and your smile showed genuineness and the things that you shared on your profile were things I could relate to – we liked the same things, and found the same things interesting

C:  That was a while ago – does anything still stand out?

T:  Yeah, your eyes are still pretty, and you described yourself as a life-long learner, and I still like that!

C:  Why thank you!  We’ve both had several horrible relationships – how did you find the strength to trust again?

T:  After I had gone through a personal recrimination period and was satisfied that I had done the best I could do, I took the time to be alone, and during that time I realized God doesn’t want me to be unhappy, and I realized that I was a good person who had something of value to offer to someone who could see it.

C:  Indeed you do!  You are valuable on many levels!

T:  Also, I learned to trust myself; when you walk in God Space you can trust that what you feel and think will be upheld.  God gave me the ability to trust my feelings and trust my thoughts which allowed me to know that I didn’t have to live the way I did in the past.  People only treat you the way you let them treat you.  They treat you bad because you let them.

C:  Amen!  So it wasn’t a matter of finding someone you could trust, it was more a matter of trusting your own ability to make the right decision, with God’s help.

T:  Right!

C:  So meeting me, do you feel it was destiny or reward for your inner work?

T:  Both!  Putting yourself into life as opposed to avoiding life or measuring life allows you to experience your destiny. And that along with the work you’ve done on yourself and continue to do allows you to be inviting and open.

C:  Well said!  You were totally insistent that we get married, even after I told you that I didn’t have a large inheritance.  Why?

T: (chuckle) Because I’m old-fashioned enough to believe marriage is a deeper commitment than us just hanging out.

C:  And you had mentioned before about God…

T:  Yes, it’s a declaration to your community and family and God that this commitment is serious.

C: A name it and claim it thing… So why do you believe our relationship is still and forever in this honeymoon stage we have?

T:  Because every day I wake up and express gratitude to the universe for the life that I have and the love that I have.  And in expressing gratitude, I want every day that we have together to be a joyful day.  It has to be in your consciousness every day, all the time.

C:  Awwww.  Is there anything else you want to say about me or us?

T: I think we are a living example of what God can do!

C: Amen, and so it is.  So what do you want to ask me?

T:  Why did you decide to start dating?  Why were you on match.com?  A lot of ladies in their forties just give up on having relationships again.

C:  I had worked really hard to find peace and openness in my heart, and love for myself first and foremost. When I had that I could stop blaming the world and take responsibility.  I realized that as long as I thought there were no good men out there, there wouldn’t be.  And I realized that I was truly a loving soul, and I didn’t need a lot of good men, just my one good man for me!  I got rejected from eHarmony because I was an outlier and didn’t fit in their mold.  I decided to go on match.com and be totally honest about who I was and wasn’t.  I did this fearlessly and unconditionally, hoping to get that back.

T: Why internet dating?

C:  All my friends were hard-core single women or unhappily married.  The only men I knew were professional relationships, and I didn’t want to cross that line.  And at that time in my life I was so not interested in bars or singles groups.

T:  Why did you take a chance with me?

C:  Because you wouldn’t leave me alone! (chuckle)  Also, I had kissed some toads and really appreciated your honesty and your willingness to take a chance.  You said cocktails and dinner on Saturday evening instead of coffee on a Wednesday afternoon:  the first time we met.  You made me feel like I was worth it!  You were rather fearless!

T:  How did you gain the strength to trust again after bad relationships and even bad dates?

C:  Similar to you, I realized I had to trust myself and my own intuition and  heart.  In all my bad relationships, deep down I knew they were wrong for me, but I got involved anyway.   It wasn’t a matter of trusting anyone else, it was a matter of trusting me!

T:  Was it destiny, or reward for the work that you’ve done on yourself?

C:  They’re not really separate, are they?  If we both hadn’t done the work, we wouldn’t have been drawn to each other or recognized the connection we had.  Even after we met, I had to let go of my laundry list of must-haves and listen to what was truly important for me to have.  That laundry list had not gotten me anywhere before.  It was good to let it go.

I also know that God gave you to me to help reawaken my spiritual gifts.  Without your unwavering support, trust, encouragement, and belief in me and your natural, constant connection to Spirit,  I wouldn’t have been able or willing to be open to my gifts. 

T: Is there something else you want to say on that?

C:  Yeah, it’s always been so easy to talk and share and discuss everything in my heart with you.  We are so incredibly comfortable together.  I feel safe and happy and peaceful with you.  And every day you make me feel beautiful.

T: But do you feel loved?

C:  Yeah, baby!  I feel loved and in a constant state of being loved by the thoughtfulness and generosity you are.

T:  I guess I was insistent on you declaring your commitment to me… did you have any reservations about that?

C:  Yeah, you wore me down!  Not really!! Our wedding day was the absolute happiest day of my life up to that point.  I felt so blessed that we could share our incredible love with family and friends before God.  What a great party we had!  I felt and still feel that we are One in a limitless kind of way.  My whole thing is about fearless and unconditional love.  When we love ourselves and each other that way, anything less than marriage is not our Truth.

T:  Is there anything else you want to say about me or us?

C:  Every day I too wake up with so much gratitude for this amazing gift from God that is you and that is us.

T:  I still feel like our journey is just unfolding, and I’m all energized and charged up to what our future may hold.

C:  Me, too, Honey Man.  I love you!

T:  I love you too Baby!!

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To find out how you can tap into some of this yummy love for yourself, you can reach Cynthia Zeki & Thomas Frierson at Spark of the Heart or on Facebook.  It was fun to find that over the years we’ve been apart, they have changed Spark of the Heart into a new business that produces and sells packaged bean based food mixes to wholesalers and retailers throughout Chicagoland and online.  All of their products are vegan and gluten free.  My kind of people!

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