Cue the music: Reunited by Peaches & Herb.
You know that feeling when the dog you lost 6 years ago magically arrives on your doorstep? Your heart bursts. You break into an excitable sweat. An irrational questioning of the heavens ensues??
No? Ok, me neither. However, I did recently find my old blog “The Graceful Divorce” which I thought had disappeared into the ether. Prince Charming actually found it for me by accident.
This happened last week, just as we were about to launch Healthy Sexy Holidays. All of my energy has been funneled towards our next SUGAR challenge and he asks, “Have you heard of this website called The Wayback Machine?” I asked if it had anything to do with my website and if not to kindly keep it to himself. Yes, I can be a little…focused sometimes. Ha ha! He said I may be interested and to keep it in mind.
Well, I became curious the following morning. I looked it up and I began to cry. I don’t know that I can explain all of my emotions in one blog post, but I will try.
Writing The Graceful Divorce was cathartic for me as I was going through my own divorce 8 years ago. I had so many feelings of shame around leaving an 11-year marriage and about what it was doing to our 3-year-old (at that time) daughter. I also knew that if I had these feelings then others surely did as well.
The Graceful Divorce was born out of a desire to heal myself and to bring others along. I believe that is the theme of my life – heal myself and bring others along. I take my role as the first-born child of three very seriously. There are some habits I am just not interested in letting go of.
Back to the blog. In 2011 I found out that although my words were healing to many people, I hurt some others. The knowledge that I added pain to anyone’s life became unbearable and I shut the site down.
As I look back upon that time, I see that I could have just deleted a few posts and kept the rest – but no – I am fiercely intolerant of hurting others. I believe that is a Sagittarius trait. I have lived with regret for some of my decisions, both about some of the words I shared and also about shutting down the site.
There were quite a few authors, published on the blog as well, whom I erased their work in one fell swoop. For that, I apologize.
The experience has made me more aware of what is sacred to me and it has made me more conscious about what I truly want to share. I’d like to think it has also made me a better writer as I look at what is meaningful and what is a lasting truth.
So even though I am moving forward and talking about health and wellness, The Graceful Divorce is still calling out to me. I will repost a few of the blog entries from the archive. I will also keep some of the past in the PAST. I also know I am REALLY excited to talk about life after divorce. My world is richer than I ever thought possible.
In the tradition of the ever popular #tbt I will start posting from The Graceful Divorce archives on Thursdays. I am optimistic that this process will help me move forward. Who knows, the book may be fighting to get out as well. We will see!
Your turn. Have you done something in the past that you regret and are working to heal? I would love to chat here in the comments or on Facebook.
All my love!