Here I am, on purpose!

In this moment, my life feels on purpose.  I mean I am REALLY in the flow right now.  I am in the midst of a 30 day sugar cleanse, a 30 day yoga challenge and a 9 week Financial Peace University class.  My butt is getting kicked left and right (as my Dad would say) and yet this is the most alive I have felt in a long time.

Wellness and contentment are my usual states.  However, this past year I have found myself binge watching television, restless and gaining A LOT of weight.  Yes, 17 pounds is a lot of weight for my frame.  It is even more when you consider that I still identify as a classical ballet dancer.  Oye!  That is a subject for an entirely different blog post.

Last October was the beginning of my decline.  I had a hysterectomy all while working at the most challenging (not in the good way) job of my life.  We will leave names behind, but let’s just say I cannot thank EKS&H enough for having me back.  I truly LOVE the firm!

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The ten-year-old.

Anywhoo – back to the subject.  Having my uterus, or as the ten-year-old girl calls it – my asparagus, taken out was life changing for me.  It meant that I would no longer have excruciatingly painful monthlies – yay me!  It also meant that there was no longer an opportunity for me to carry a child – yay me (I think?).  Lastly, it meant I had 2 weeks on the couch to catch up on EVERY single episode of Grey’s Anatomy, feel sorry for myself on occasion (because that’s what you do when a major part of your body is removed, right!?!) and escape from a job that I felt miserable in.  Not yay me.

Fast forward to February of this year.  I lost my eight-year-old nephew.  Oh wow, I just teared up typing that sentence.  Again, this is a subject for another blog post, another time, but it adds to my story of how I got here.

Layton’s death literally knocked me off my feet right at a time I felt I was getting my groove back.  I had recently left the horrible job and returned to employment that I enjoy.  I was also feeling more secure in my relationship with my partner after a lot of couple’s work and internal work.  Life was challenging, but it felt like I was on an upward swing.

pizza
July 22, 2017
 
​Nope!  I chose to use my grief around losing a nephew and my embarrassment for succumbing to the lure of a “bigger better” company as reasons to drink alcohol almost daily – Malbec is my favorite.  I binged on peanut M&M’s and gluten free pizza.  Somehow I let myself think that because it was gluten free bingeing it couldn’t be that bad.  Ha ha ha!  17 pounds later I see that gluten does not discriminate.


My partner and I have created a blended family with three kiddos between us.  Due to schedules and arrangements, we had at least one kid with us almost every day this past summer.  This left very little time for connecting with each other.  The stress of a fuller house and missing intimate time with my man was yet another excuse to drink as much wine as I desired.  Lord have mercy!

 
#blendedfamily
#blendedfamily
So here I am, ready for the next journey.  I am open and willing to create a life of health and well-being for the long-term.  I completely understand that life is unfolding the way it is meant to; however, the clarity I have on how I want to show up in the world is shedding so much light and compassion on how I arrived at this place.  I no longer want to be the grump on the couch.  I no longer want to hide behind unhealthy food and alcohol.  I no longer want to hold onto any limiting ideas of what my life can be.


Continuing to serve is my first priority, but I want to do it in a bigger way.  History has shown that I learn the most about myself, feel the most alive and am happiest when I am serving others.  The first step I have taken is to begin a free support group through Facebook for others who have been ready to release sugar for 30 days.  My second step is returning to writing through this blog.  I invite you to be a witness to my future steps as I bring what I learn to this page.

Universe, here is my prayer:  Please use me to serve others, help me co-create my dream life, and remind me who I am when I get off path.  Amen!

Is there something calling you to wake up to life and return to the flow?  What are some things you are ready to let go of, and/or what can you commit to right now to improve your health?  Let me know in the comments.

All my love,

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6 comments

  1. Michelle you are so friggin amazing. I honestly want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for starting this whole group page on getting healthy and eliminating sugar for 30 days. It has totally changed my mindset. Now I am working out again, I am eating much better, and I have so much more energy and I am just stoked to go work out every morning. I know I’m going to continue on with this and I hope that our group sticks together on this page and continues to motivate one another. I absolutely loved reading your story about your journey on how you got here. I know we have all had some rough roads to travel and I just find it so motivating to hear when someone picks themselves up and makes great changes in their life. You are definitely an inspiration and I truly appreciate you!!!

    1. Josh, I am so very grateful our paths have reconnected! I may have started the group, but you are an amazing light helping to keep us all on track. Thank you for your transparency, encouragement and friendship!

  2. No one prepares us for the ups and (sometimes psyche shattering) downs of life. I think we’ve all probably been that person on the couch at one time or another or even right now. It’s so easy to sink into that comfort (false as it is in hindsight). Beautiful words of awareness and intention. I have truly appreciated the 30-day sugar free Facebook page mostly because it highlights that we all are human with our own struggles doing the best we can. It’s been inspiring to hear yours and others successes and words of encouragement. Keep on doing what you are doing…the Universe is listening.

    1. Psyche shattering – I love that description Sherri! Writing is one way I am healing so it is such a comfort to know that someone else can relate. Thank you for being a part of my circle! I am grateful to be a part of yours.

  3. WOW, You are being seen and heard my dear and let me just say ….you are such an inspiration to me on so many levels! (Some of which we’ve already spoken about!). I’d like to know more about your Financial Peace University experience as well, if you don’t mind! Love the Facebook page AND the new journey we are on together as well! You have got it going on my friend!

    1. Thank you Cindy! You inspire me as well. Thank you for the encouragement on all of our health goals right now. You and I seem to have quite a few parallels in our lives. I am grateful to call you a friend!

      As far as Financial Peace University – it is run by Dave Ramsey. I was introduced to his podcasts earlier this year and I got hooked. He has a lot of great ideas on how to get out of debt and build wealth quicker than most. I am on the early baby steps but am very optimistic that I can be debt free in under 2 years! I’m happy to share more with you in person.

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